random not so ramdom

well.. I feel a little bit off today. I know the reason..I know I should not tell to anyone except to Allah and my husband ( hehe )....but I just feel like i need to type my feelings out.

you know. the feeling when you feel like you arent being appreciated. the feeling when you knew that 'people' will only find you when they need 'something' or some help from you.. or when they just need you. your ears to listen, your mouth for some advice. or your head for some ideas. or..your materials to ease their problems..and.. that person/people happen to be someone that you like/love dearly in your heart. that most of the time, you just cant say no. or you will feel sooo terrible even if you said no... and most of the time, you feel bad because you rarely makes people do things for you! you always try to figure out your problems on your own and be independent..........i know. burdensome.

I came across this book ( one of my favourite books from my own collection hehe ). here it stated:

" Do not expect gratitude from people - Some people they feel no gratitude towards Allah for the favours He has bestowed upon them, so no wonder that they show none to others."

well. this makes a lot of sense to me. sometimes, even me myself forgot to feel grateful to Allah for whatever I have in life, so why should I expect people to feel grateful to my little help to them. plus, some people ( including me ) only try to find Allah, find their way back to Allah, tears in their sujood, only when they really have no other way out, that they feel like only Allah can help them, only then they return to Allah..so...with this saying, if it's possible for humans to do that to Allah, why am I feeling so bad if they do that to me too? *thinks hard*


its true that we should not love people too much. should not 'depend' on people too much. Because only Allah is the One that we should love at the highest. only to Him whom we should depend on. entirely..


i think..maybe I need to change the way i treat people. there should be a limit to how much should i love them. i need to make myself worth more by not being too 'easy'. learn to say no. ( amboih! haha )..the only question is now : can I really do this? or.. should I do that..

you know.part of me saying that I should not appear to be so 'easy' .. while the other part of me saying that remember, do good deeds even if it's as small as bijik sawi as mentioned in the quran..as Allah will count even the smallest good deeds...

y'know. Al-Quran wins.

assalamualaikum. bye diary! - thanks for brainstorming with me :)

of the new chapter of life :)

salam..

Ya Allah...lama sangat tak bukak blog ni..tiba tiba malam Ramadhan yang mulia ni, lepas dengar radio IKIM tadi, hmm terdetik rasa nak menulis sesuatu :p well, because I am fully aware that I am not a so-called a regular blogger, and this lil blog of mine has been treated as a place for me to express my feelings occasionally, for maybe like past 3 years? ( oh, aging! ).. so, yes, here I am, smiling while typing this, and thinking hard of what to rant this time hehehe. and....plus, I do realize that I do not have regular readers as well, haha where are my friends? huda, kaklinda, pae, seri..depa dah lama tak update blog jugak rupanya, well except pae...yang tengah berbunga bunga hati tu mungkin :p hehe.

so..Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah...I'm officially and yes secara sahnya sudah pun menjadi someone's wife..kalau dalam bahasa melayu nya 'isteri seseorang'. hahaha. ok that sounds too cheesy for me hahaha. ok gelak pulak kannnnnn. and I'm thankful to Allah, for granted and always granting my dua, to be given such a wonderful husband, whom I'm in love with, with all my heart. *jiwang* I know. Alhamdulillah..dugaan sepanjang berkawan memang ada,  it's a long distance relationship for yearssss, tapi Alhamdulillah, jodoh kami kuat. I always pray to Allah, all these while  to show me and make it easy for me to be with 'the one' that He has chosen for me,  and Alhamdullillah...:) cuma sekarang, eventhough we are back to be in a long distance, again, haha, I'm here in US and he's far across the boundaries in Malaysia, I just hope that Allah will take care of me and take care of him too! :) syg, if you happen to read this, I love u! hehe

so.....yes, that was it about my change of status now. well....at least I wouldnt be regretful later on in 10 years time that I forgot to write about my first 2 months of being married on my own blog haha. so, in this holy month, Ramadhan kareem..I actually have too many wishes and hopes and duas to be made. and most importantly, taubat...which taubat here I think is between me and Allah..that it needs no disclosure. However, there's something that I wanna share here :

'Seandainya pintu Syurga sudah dibuka, pintu Neraka ditutup kunci, malah Syaitan dirantai agar lemah potensinya dalam mengganggu manusia, segala gandaan pahala diberi dan segala galakan kebaikan ditawarkan, tiba-tiba kita langsung tidak tertarik untuk mendapatkannya, ia menandakan bahawa kita memang tidak berminat dengan Allah, tidak berminat dengan tawaran-Nya, tidak berminat dengan Syurga dan tidak pernah kisah dengan Neraka.

Maka sesungguhnya orang ini benar-benar tidak mendapat sebarang rahmat daripada Allah.'

:'(





so...lets pray that we're not going to be among those people who are not interested in taubat and not also interested to be closer with Allah this Ramadhan..insyaAllah, aminn..Hopefully, this Ramadhan brings rahmah and barakah, as well as a turning point for us to be more intimate with Allah, no matter how far we have been from Him before, insyaAllah.

Wassalam..

of tawakkal and taubat ~

Salam..

esok marks the third week of the semester. how fast! rasa macam baru ja start -_-. selalunya, every sem, baru start berapa hari baru, saya da start tulis semua jadual2, bila exam, bila antar assignment, appointment, isi borang itu ini, etc.

tapi....sem ni sangat lain. hoho. saya rasa betul2 mcm follow the flow ja. ehee. entahla kenapa. nak kata xda spirit, ada jugak, since it's my final semester, literally speakingla kan.

saya sebenar-benarnya SANGAT takut ( read: campur cuak) , sebab after this sem ends, only God knows what's going to happen. my future... personally. haih. takut takut takut. favourite word sekarang ! saya rasa kadang2 saya xmau buat decision langsung. nak biar ja everything jadi dengan sendirinya. kan. boleh dak lagu tu? ehehee. tapi.. kuasa usaha kena ada. tetap kena ada. usaha saya adalah planning la. and researching (beforehand ) of what's the best for me. what should I do next ? and tawakkal.... 100%

honestly, dari dulu saya sukaaaaa sangat sebut perkataan tawakkal, or berserah pada Allah. tapi, dlam hati saya, saya dulu macam tak faham sangat berserah tu macam mana. I always always think that I cannot just berserah. because I'm a type of person who will fight to get everything I want till the end. saya , dalam erti kata lain - xreti nak berserah. sebab saya terlalu percaya kuasa usaha. more than everything. saya xsedar kot dulu, yang Allah lah yang memegang nasib dan takdir saya ( walau sekuat mana pun usaha ). kalau pun saya sedar, saya mungkin hanya sedar secara teori, bukan sedar dengan hati.

well. I blamed myself ( of course it was my bad kan) and also the environment. ahaha. entahla. saya memang dari kecik. ok bukanla kecik, maybe since sekolah rendah ( kecik tak kecik sangat la ehee) always jadi seorang yang berusaha. and nak everything perfect. saya sangat percaya I can do anything kalau saya usaha. ok I sound so skema, I know -_-.

and saya pun tak tahu mana saya dapat kepercayaan ni. I guess because of experience. contohnya, everytime saya buat something dengan penuh usaha, saya akan dapat apa yang saya nak tu. haa. macam tu la. and kalau saya xusaha, saya akan jatuh. contoh. zaman matriks. ngee. through experiment & experience gitu . pastu, usaha lagi nak sambung master, dapat. so, this kind of thinking led me to who I am sampai sekarang. well, not until now la, cause saya da percaya dengan hati 'sepenuhnya' akan tawakkal, hmm just recently. Alhamdulillah.

well, saya xsalahkan diri saya sebab terlalu taksub dengan usaha. sebab saya sangat independent ( kot ) dari dulu. saya nampak lembik I know ( need to mention this ), but I'm strong ( tolongla percaya). hehe. lagipun usaha is not a bad thing. I should just accomodate it with TAWAKKAL. right?

hmm. bila cakap pasal independent, saya selalu xmau harapkan org kalau nak buat apa2, sampailaaa tiba manusia2 yang baik yang betul2 cakap nk tolong saya. ok, baru saya cam ok, please help me. kalau xda org nak tolong, I'll be like, oh ok, xpa, I'll still be good. hmm. now I sound arrogant. kan. haha *sedar*

so. Yes, I know my story above is so much contentnya bagai ke laut dan melilau lilau, tapi believe me, what I'm just gonna say is we NEED to be always be TAWAKAL to Allah. of course, after we had put so much usaha, please. not just by lazy-ing around kan. and not vice-versea, like me - humbly said, jangan just usaha, and percaya diri sendiri jaa, or percayakan manusia2 lain akan beri perubahan dalam hidup kita. hanya ALLAH. remember this. ( wow I just did 5 lines of summary to my long-winding story *taps own back* )

ok jom check ayat ayat Allah. ( I love using word - ayat2 Allah ( instead of Firman) as this gives so much 'close' feeling to me.) kan? :)

1) ' Dan barangsiapa bertawakkal kepada Allah, nescaya Allah akan mencukupkan keperluannya. Sesungguhnya Allah telah mengadakan ketentuan bagi setiap sesuatu.'

( 65:3)

2) ' Hendaklah kamu bertawakkal kepada Allah sekranya kamu orang yang beriman '.

(5 : 23)

3) ' Hendaklah kamu berusaha ( beramal ) kerana Allah dan RasulNya serta orang mukmin akan melihat dan menilai apa yang kamu usahakan '

(9 :105)

and......lagi satu, saya sukaaaaaaaaa sangat ayat ni:

' Wahai hamba-hambaKu yang melampaui batas terhadap diri mereka sendiri ! Janganlah kamu berputus asa daripada rahmat Allah. Sesungguhnya Allah mengampunkan dosa-dosa semuanya. Sesungguhnya, Dialah Yang Maha Pengampun, Lagi Maha Penyayang'

( 39:53)

well, whatever we did in the past, just let bygone be bygone, and most imprtantly, we repent, leave that action/thoughts entirely, and promise not to do that again. Allah promised to delete our sins and it'll be replaced with our good deeds

( 25: 70 ). sweet :')

till next time. wow I know this is such a long entry. harap bermanfaat kepada diri sendiri, and orang lain, walau pun seorang :)

Sabda Nabi SAW : ' Sampaikanlah ilmu dariku walau hanya satu ayat ' ( HR Bukhari)

wassalam.

jangan sedih sedih

SALAM..

Hi all :) so, this is just my post that I put on Fb. Hasil tadabbur di kala inginkan ketenangan :p Surat cinta dari Allah is the best!

........

Dalam Al-Quran, sangat banyak ayat ayat Allah yang dapat menenangkan kita ketika kita dalam kesusahan dan kesedihan. ♥

cuba check ( surah : ayat ) dalam kitab cinta Allah kepada kita. Antaranya :

1. Mintalah pertolongan kepada Allah dengan sabar dan solat.
( 2:45,153)

2. Pertolongan Allah itu dekat. ( 2:214)

3. Allah tidak membebankan seseorang melainkan sesuai dengan kemampuan. ( 2: 286 ) ( 7:65)

4. Allah akan beri kesenangan setelah berlaku kesempitan.(7:65 )

5. Boleh jadi kamu benci sesuatu, padahal ia amat baik untuk kamu, dan boleh jadi kamu suka sesuatu , tapi ia amat buruk untuk kamu.(2:216)

6. Janganlah bersikap lemah dan bersedih hati, padahal kamulah org yg paling tinggi darjat jika kamu org yg beriman.
( 3:139)

7. Jika Allah menolong kamu, maka tiada siapa yang dapat kalahkan kamu. tapi jika Allah membiarkan kamu, siapa yang dapat menolong kamu selain Allah? Oleh itu, hendaklah bertawakkal kepada Allah. (3:160)

8.Perumpamaan org yang meminta pertolongan selain Allah adalah seperti labah labah yang membuat rumah. Sesungguhnya rumah yang paling lemah adalah rumah labah labah.
( 29:41)

9. Setiap bencana yang menimpa telah tertulis dalam Kitab Lauh mahfuz. Jadi jangan bersedih hati terhadap apa yng luput dan hendaklah tidak terlalu gembira (sombong & takbur) terhadap apa yang diberikanNya. ( 57: 22-23)

10. Allah beri rezeki dari arah yang tidak disangka-sangka. Dan barang siapa bertawakal kepada Allah, nescaya Allah akan cukupkan keperluanNya.( 65:3)

Ingatlah, hanya dengan mengingati Allah lah hati menjadi tenteram.
(13: 28)

♥ now. put your trust ONLY in Allah

Al-Quran adalah anugerah terindah yg kita ada dlm dunia ni. Al-Quran adalah kitab yg sgt honest, straightly mengandungi ayat2 dari Allah. Allah tenangkan kita, Allah beri nasihat, Allah beri guidelines, Allah juga beri ingatan. Untuk hayati Al-Quran, cukuplah hanya rasa dengan hati bahawa Allah sedang bercakap dengan kita. Apa yg ada dlm Al-Quran tu untuk kita sorang ja. sweet.

Saya post kt fb & blog sebab nk share je apa yg saya baca & faham & dapat. I'm still learning though. wpun agak malu ^_^ sbb hmm adala... tapi xpa, niat saya hanya nak share ilmu,harap diberkati. kalu ada xbetul, tolonglaaaa tegur wokey?

ok dah.saya rinduuuu nak baca kisah kawan2, pae, uda, k.seri, semuaaaaa! update la blog.uda esp, sebok nk kawen ja eh?!hehe

p/s: cikyang, you may 'start' by blogging kan? *tetiba teringat*

bye. Wassalam!